I wish there were fewer people who wanted to be performers.
This auditioning, and auditioning, and auditioning is tiring. And you have to go to all of them that you can because you never know who is looking for exactly you.
No one I’ve ever met likes auditions. Even when I say that the Rockettes is the most enjoyable audition I do, it still sucks when you don’t make it. And some people say it’s the worst audition to do. It all has to do with you and your perceptions, we all feel differently about auditioning.
Me, I’m always nervous. But I can do dance auditions without too much trouble. It’s when I have to open my month that everything gets crazy in my head. Singing is pretty bad. Because the acoustics are different in every room, sometimes I have no idea if I’m in key or not. But that’s nothing compared to having to read. Acting is something I have very little experience with, so I have no idea what I’m doing, or if I’m good. Singing and acting cause me to shake I’m so scared of it. The horrible part is that around here, the local companies seem to do all the singing first, and then dancing after, sometimes only at the callbacks. I’m about to go into a hard-core month of auditions, probably the most intensive I’ve ever attempted. I don’t know, is five in one month (not counting call-backs) intensive? If you have a 9 to 5 day job I think it is. I hope I get past the singing.
The point I started with, I wish there were fewer people out there that wanted to do what I want to do. It would make it much easier. I feel like I’m just on the brink of being good enough to be paid to perform. Getting over that hump is tough, and the oodles of people in auditions make it that much harder. Though I guess the audition process toughens you up for the rehearsal process. The fatigue and dealing with the other performer personalities.
It’s not just performing, but anything where you are in competition with others for a spot is where you face rejection. American’s Next Top Model just had its 16th cycle premiere. To see how they would handle it, they told the top 14 initially that they were the ones that didn’t make it. I would have liked to have seen how the other girls handled being told yes and then no. That would have been interesting.
Modeling is like performing in that you are being judged on some things that you have no control over. In the job market, if you don’t have the skills you can go out and learn them. I know this is over-simplification, but bear with me. In careers such as show business and modeling, you are being judged on your appearance. You can work on your dance technique, but if your body isn’t proportioned for dance, there’s nothing you can do about it. You can diet, but if your face isn’t what they want, there’s nothing you can do about it. I think it’s the harshest thing you can face.
So I’m proud of myself for still sticking with it, even though some say I may be too old. We’ll see if I’m still sticking with it now that I’m ramping up my auditioning, putting myself out there to be rejected more. Or maybe accepted more…